As dementia progresses, the cognitive impairments it causes can severely affect a person’s ability to drive safely. Even in early stages of dementia, people may experience memory lapses, slower reaction times, or confusion on the road, putting themselves and others at significant risk.
Senior living communities like Astoria Senior Living and Memory Care in Omaha, NE and Oakdale, CA are well-versed to provide help and support to families considering difficult decisions like taking away their loved one’s keys. Here is some advice from our team.
Determine When It’s Time to Stop Them From Driving
One of the most challenging aspects of dementia is that the person affected may not recognize their own limitations, especially in the mid-stages of dementia. They may insist that they are capable of driving, even when they exhibit warning signs, such as:
- Getting lost in familiar areas, even a route they’ve driven hundreds of times.
- Confusing the gas and brake pedals and causing and accident.
- Driving for hours but for them it only feels like minutes.
According to Jolene Brackey of Enhanced Moments, Author of “Creating Moments of Joy,” a book for caregivers navigating the journey of dementia, many families make the mistake of letting their loved ones decide when it’s time for them to stop driving. Brackey says, “Unfortunately, families will wait and wait and wait for permission. Your person will not likely say, ‘Hey, here are my keys, I shouldn’t be driving,’ – it just won’t happen that way.”
Brackey recommends families not sell the car, but that instead, the keys are taken away or the car is “fixed” to be unusable for the person with dementia. The reason is that depending on the stage of their dementia, they likely won’t recall that you sold the car and will look for it over and over.
How to Take Away the Keys with Compassion
It’s important to approach this situation with empathy, being mindful to what driving represents for many individuals – independence. Here are some tips to help maintain their dignity while ensuring they no longer drive:
- Make it About Safety: Emphasize that this decision is about keeping them and others safe. Instead of focusing on their limitations, focus on their safety and wellbeing. Phrases like “I want to make sure you stay safe” can help soften the message.
- Involve Their Doctor: Sometimes, hearing a recommendation from a healthcare professional can carry more weight. Doctors can evaluate cognitive function and driving ability, making it easier to accept the decision. You can ask their doctor to write a note explaining that they can no longer drive. When they ask questions, you can show them the note.
- Remove Temptation: If necessary, render the car unusable. This may mean removing the car battery or the fuel pump fuse.
After you take the keys, help your loved one maintain independence by arranging alternative ways to get around. Offer to drive them, hire a caregiver, or introduce them to transportation services for seniors. Maintaining mobility can help ease the transition.
If you’re caring for someone with dementia and need support, reach out to a local memory care community for expert advice. To contact Astoria Senior Living and Memory Care in Omaha, NE or Oakdale, CA, reach out online today.